Day 8

I'd stopped blogging. I forgot why I started it all at first place. I guess I imagined that there will be readers. Just like in "Julie and Julia". I'd start getting comments, etc. So... I needed attention. Wanted to be special. But what else is knew? :) The truth is that nowadays there are tons of people blogging about the same subject and nobody gives a damn about it. So if you're out there reading this, it is OK to leave a comment or two, to let ME know you're there. :P :)

I want to start another blog. This time without letting anyone know who I am or what's my name. But I need to figure out how to "advertise" in order to get people interested ( I know I know.. the blog ITSELF has to be interesting, but beyond that). I want to write about more personal issues, touch upon intimate subjects. I guess I value my privacy too much to make this my public thought chamber. So I'd rather start another blog incognito.

As far as my Bikram challenge is concerned, today was my 8th Day and I feel great. My weight is doing something funny, one day I'm 5 pounds lighter, the other 5 pounds heavier. I know it's all the liquids I put in and then sweat it all out that causes this imbalance. Other than that, I discovered a few interesting things:
- when you are going through something really difficult (mental or physical) just smile. It doesn't have to be a real organic smile, but make your face smile: your brain will register it as a gesture of joy and happiness and your body will feel happy too! And if you sign a lot, or moan, or whatever else, your body will respond to it and be tired, and unhappy along with you. Trust me, it works!
- in between the asanas, find that moment of stillness, and BREATHE. OMG - BREATHE! Long breaths will not cause the fatigue, dizziness and all the other stuff that people are constantly complaining about.
- during the asanas - BREATHE. Can't stress it enough! It took me more than a week of every day yoga to figure it out for myself - the breath is what makes it all flow, what makes it light and enjoyable.
It's so simple, yet, we constantly forget to breathe properly. When you first do yoga your brain receives too much new information and cannot take it all in, so it panics. Therefore, you MUST do more than one or two or even three classes before you say "oh, I hate it" or "this is not for me".
- take small sips of water. I bought an aluminum water bottle that has this special lid allowing you to take only small sips. Today I was less tired, because instead of the big gulps I used to drink during the class I only sipped the water and my body didn't have to waste any energy on dealing with all water access.
-my food cravings have gone away and especially my cravings for sugar. I've never imagined that one can NOT want chocolate at any given moment. And now I don't!
- TBC...

My inner self is good. I feel more grounded. My partner is in an out of his moods. Been better lately, but I keep reminding myself not to overjoy too much because the clouds will appear prior to me uttering "I'm happy". Very pessimistic, you think? Well, I'd say, realistic. So there you go.

Today is our 6 month wedding anniversary. Of course, he didn't remember it. And so instead of feeling sorry for myself, I told him that he forgot about it and that I didn't expect him to remember it anyway. We kissed and we laughed, and there was no drama about it. I'm surprised I don't want to cry and I'm surprised I am ABLE to view it in such a simple way. Life's simple, you just have to find that simple balance in it.....  ?